There seems to be a question: 'Can I be enlightened if I'm not a monk/nun?' Possibly not often for lay people, but can Buddhist teachings and practice improve the quality of our lives - the answer is a resounding 'Yes'.
A lay practitioner is constantly faced with personal obstacles, disagreements, tensions and difficulties which can lead to days and weeks of self analysis or can be ridden over like a boat in a rough sea. One is thrown about, but who is feeling tossed? The best sailor is the silent, empty, nothing-mind.
Many writings are by monks rather than by nuns and by celibates rather than parents. My early working life was a doddle compared with the first year with my first child. A breast-feeding baby soon trims your ego into shape. Juggling three children, a husband and a part-time job demands a rigorous timetable and impeccable efficiency. For ten years or so there is not a minute when it is not necessary to attend to someone's needs. Before the modern disposable nappies arrived the washing produced by three children under three and a half was monumental. This is excellent training for mindfulness probably exceeding that of many monasteries but where are the women teachers from this tradition? Probably in the playground.
Teenagers demand a greater level of tolerance as they constantly test their parents; this can be best handled by attention and unconditional love. The nothing-mind is with each incident or feeling, exploring it in sensuous detail and moving on to the next or acting as is necessary. I was caring for animals, many of whom were sick, juggling their needs for medicine with the volume and quality of their food. The shit had to be shifted daily. But who is it that looks at the eye of a horse or calf or rabbit and knows what it needs; this is the nothing mind and a gut feeling.
So what is this intuitive gut feeling and how does it relate to the true self? It seems that intuition is the thin edge of the centre hidden behind the nothing-mind but it is difficult to hear because of the deafening din of the thinking mind. But with a little sitting practice and sufficient tiredness a knowingness grows during the shit shifting. Gradually things get done well and life flows smoothly.
But this still leaves 'me' living life and dancing with it but not being part of it. There is still a duality. Nothing mind may have little ego left but there is still enough to shriek in a crisis. There is still a final step. Sitting alertly, working alertly and revelling in the sharpness and clarity of life makes this all quality time. Life can be joyful and lifted to ecstasy by music and paintings. But there is still the feeling of isolation and separation and this is where Life Roshi takes a hand. This is often the point where illness, disaster, bereavement or some other crisis tips the balance and one must face one's karma. Each of us has some particular problem which recurs through each decade and challenges us at the roots of our being. It is the facing of our own unique problem which opens the door of loving mind.
So perhaps lay people, and especially lay women, need a different teaching and a different sangha from that designed by monks. A weekend for mothers, who are normally exhausted, could be fruitful if they can have a good sleep and then watch their minds. Older people are at a stage of their lives where death my have tapped them on the shoulder but may be physically unable to withstand the rigours of retreats designed for younger folk. The demands of a terminally ill partner make inroads in the ego and teaching could be very fruitful but is unavailable at this time. Books are our modern refuge but the understanding of Buddhism is so contrary to our modern ethos that a perceptive teacher is needed.
The loving mind is an extension of the nothing mind where every object, person, feeling is so whole and vivid for the moment one perceives it that there is no perceiver. The objects in the world are the world; there is no-one looking. As these objects appear they can be attended with absolute concentration to the momentary needs, with total loving attention. A person, a plant or a stone changes as a photograph changes from black and white to colour and finally to a holographic image. One is the world of the hologram and no longer alienated. The separation was only in the mind. The gut feeling is the whole world and there is no more shit to shift. There is no self to be true.
