Western Zen Retreat, Maenllwyd

This was my second Retreat with the WCF; my first a little over 9½ months ago was the introductory Taste of Chan with Fiona in Derbyshire. Prior to that I had no experience of meditation at all.

If the first Retreat helped me to understand and accept events impacting significantly upon my life the second, a Western Zen Retreat at Maenllwyd, surprisingly helped to clear out baggage I had been carrying since childhood. I say surprisingly given I am very close to national pension age and frankly, was stunned to feel the overwhelming release following the resolution of ‘who am I?’

This Retreat, safely and comfortingly led by Jake, in the beautifully isolated surroundings of Maenllwyd (chilly temperatures, glorious woodburning stoves and composting loos and all) was another step in my newly discovered practice, and how special it was!

I was a little anxious I may not feel the same profoundly moving effect from this my second Retreat as I felt from the first. But, in spite of deliberately arriving with no expectations at all other than the desire to be open to whatever came, this Retreat proved just as powerful and, perhaps more pertinent to me personally, extremely valuable to my spiritual growth.

I am a planner and an organiser, both by nature and from learned behaviour in my 50+ years of professional life. I have probably spent so much time planning for the future (professionally, domestically and personally) that I have missed the greater portion of my life that could have been lived in the right here right now. Indeed, now I’m back in everyday life, I still catch myself reflecting and thinking ‘how can I underscore the value I have gained from the Retreat and bring it to bear on my every day life?’ But for me this is the point – I now catch myself planning and am able to surrender that process and just be! Whatever comes from the Retreat, supported by my continued practice, will be; and it will be entirely welcome.

In one of his Dharma talks Jake discussed opportunities for extending the benefits of Retreat into everyday life and as he put it, extending practice when not just sitting. When one catches oneself about to go to the dark side – that is practice; when one feels negative emotion and catches it before damaging reaction occurs – that is also practice; when one comes across a moment of beauty in someone else’s behaviour or in the natural world and smiles gratefully inwardly – that too is practice.

I look forward to attending future Retreats and may even do further WZRs but for now, I am calmly more aware of things in the moment and relishing the opportunity to experience right here right now, the joy of life in all its forms.