At the beach watching two people playfully chasing each other in the sea. They are lost in their playfulness, oblivious to all around them, happily splashing each other. In taking the photograph, the nature of the exposure results in one person appearing as if a shadow. A shadow cannot leave the object that casts it and that object cannot lose its shadow. When the sun shines, there are always objects and always shadows and they are naturally a part of each other. There is no separation, just wholeness. Here we can see the totality of a relationship, a moment of playful contact.
Connecting nothing with nothing
a shadow
chases in the sea
In our relationships, we can all expect that they will solve our problems, fix our worries and be a constant caring respite from our difficulties. We keep hold of old ideas, notions and memories and we frame hopes and dreams for the future. In a relationship, when we become dominated by thoughts of past and future, when we have many expectations, we lose sight of the actual person to whom we relate. We become overly self-concerned. We not only lose the shadow but we also lose the object. In losing our connection to our self, we also lose our connection to the other person.
But, we can use our relationships to find out who we are. By putting aside our self concerns, we can watch as the other relates as the person he or she is becoming. In being open to the human-ness of the other, we become open to our own self. There is a growth in our compassion and we can encounter the change and flow of interacting, playfully enjoying each and every moment.
Charlotte Joko Beck says,
“For those who patiently practice…. there will be more and more a taste of joy in a relationship in which no self meets no self. In other words openness meets openness.”
