This was the first occasion I had been at the Maenllwyd and from the start it had a magical feel to it - like entering a different time and space. Coming up the track to the house and its surroundings was just like entering a live jewel. At this time of year the place was brimful of bird sound, lambs, insects and wind in the trees. All these and the environment were, as I was to discover, to take part in the retreat - sitting, sleeping, eating, meditating along with us with no separation..........
I concentrated my energies on absorbing Master Sheng Yen's incomparable presentation of Silent Illumination, teachings, texts, commentary and the infra-structure that goes with practice. He very carefully and precisely set out a whole transmission for us in a way that impressed me deeply. He obviously wants to plant these teachings in England before it is too late for him to do so directly. Only now is it coming home to me how privileged we all were.
Curiously I had wanted to ask about this particular practice as I had been practising Dzogchen Trekchod for a while and it seemed to me that the methods are essentially similar. He also presented what for me is the nub of practice - direct contemplation.
For many years, even prior to my interest in taking up serious practice, I have felt that certain experiences that occurred to me spontaneously and very regularly were just this - a seeing into suchness; direct contemplation. I had not appreciated that these were what Zen is largely about for their ordinariness seemed not to match the notions I found in Zen books; hard sitting, explosive satori, fireworks and expectations. I thought Zen must be someplace else although underneath I always "knew it" to be right here somehow.
Through time and through attendance at retreats these experiences have deepened and become more stable, often continuous for periods of time. There has also developed a kind of feel for how to allow it to happen. Methodless method. My understanding was that this 'moment' cannot be got through meditation. Meditation just provides a possibility of it happening - one could sit correctly for a thousand years and never see. There has to be illumination as well as silence and it cannot be made to happen. But for Buddhism to make sense it needs to happen if the work of cultivation is to be effective. Coming off the Zen ride takes the anxiety out of meditation practice and allows a humorous appraisal of the ego, its tricks and spiritual aspirations. What I needed to know for sure was whether I was on the right track or seriously deluded. I needed to have confirmation by someone who also "saw".
Communication with Shifu in interview was difficult - a language and cultural problem I suspect. Yet he said to me, "Keep beginner's mind - is safest". Other interviews put my craving mind to rest - knowing I was perfectly healthy!
With beginners mind everything is always new, fresh and perceived with an exquisite intimacy. All things are unique - gesturing 'thus' with nobody in the way. What was very clear to me this time though was that nothing has to happen for this to be so. It is always already the way things are. I have felt that the duality of I versus that or this had to shift or collapse before 'this' could appear and I have often tried to effect this shift. It's unnecessary. There is no state of duality. Reality simply dawns spontaneously given attention. All very ordinary and nothing special, as the Masters keep insisting. And yet extraordinary!
Among the wet grasses Dharma guardians hold wide
the gates of suchness.
Black slugs-
one here
one there.
