Meditation and its Background

Meditation itself cannot be replaced by any words that can be said about it. But before setting off on a journey, it is worth having a look at a map.

Meditation means investigating the mind: observing it and its phenomena directly and non-verbally. Meditation means listening to the silence of the mind. It is the exploration of a realm beyond everyday din. However, it is not easy to keep our attention on that realm, especially at the beginning. So we can use various techniques of meditation, helping to concentrate and stabilize the mind. Usually we try to focus on one chosen object. It could be one’s breath or a silent repetition of a particular word or phrase. We direct our attention to it and remain with it, without any other particular efforts. Gradually our awareness naturally embraces the silence in the background while our minds are stilled by holding steady on the chosen object.

Wandering thoughts

But then we discover that that is not easy. Different thoughts circle round our heads without our will or permission. They come and go as they please. They distract us and pull us away from the current experience. The mind resembles a radio, broadcasting sounds on different wavelengths. While meditating, we don’t fight with the thoughts and we also don’t follow them. We are aware of the process and content of thinking, however we try not to be involved in its content.

Only that which is taking place right now is real. Thoughts usually concern what has been or will be. Only what exists right now can be experienced. Once we start thinking about it, it has already become the past. Observing the workings of the mind, we notice that we are not perceiving reality directly but through our various thoughts. We discover that sometimes they are a cause of anxiety and disorder. We do want to use thoughts when they are helpful and useful, but we don’t want them to rule us. We want to be free from their control; to gradually remove the mind’s filters. We long for a direct contact with reality.

Change and the Self

And reality changes. All of it. Some things change quicker, others – slower. Not all changes are visible right away, though they always take place from one moment to the next even if the shift is very small. What appears to be a thing is in fact a process. Using words to name things suggest that the name signifies something lasting, stable, defined as separate from all other things. In fact, everything takes shape in relation to other things, as a result of many interwoven causes. Nothing is a separate, lasting whole. Nothing has an intrinsic essence which can be separated from the universe. Only by thinking about things, can we present them as lasting and independent.

Observing the impermanence, and the mutual connections in the world, helps in meditation. It liberates us from rigid beliefs about the world and ourselves. It helps us shift from thinking about how things are, or should be, to experiencing what is taking place right now. Instead of perceiving ourselves as a defined free-standing separate piece of the world, we can experience our body from within. We can simply feel, hear, see - and observe the fluctuations of the mind. Then the thoughts start quietening. They become replaced with the awareness of the present moment. At the beginning, old habits of scattered thought can get in the way of our alert attention. That’s when an object of meditation is useful – we pay attention to that, to keep the attention rooted in place. With time, meditation becomes more stable. The chosen object becomes less important and the attention directs itself to what is beyond the thoughts.

The lack of permanent, separate essence applies not just to things surrounding us, but also to ourselves! Why would we be an exception? If you think about it – there’s no reason at all. We are not lone islands; we react to the environment and we influence it. The cells of our bodies constantly die and are reborn. Different states of mind start, develop and pass. It is easy to agree with this in principle, but such agreement won’t lead to significant changes in our lives. Such changes can come, when this is experienced directly, by looking into the mind. And that is much more difficult than thinking about the non-existence of the self. It is obstructed by the deeply rooted habit to use one’s vision of one’s “I” as the reference point for our thoughts, emotions and actions.

In meditation, the gross thoughts quieten first, then the more subtle ones follow. Life becomes smoother – simpler, more stable, less exposed to tension and mental chaos. We inhabit the present moment more frequently. We do reach for thoughts, when we need them, but we are increasingly less bound by them. When they appear of their own accord, we know they are only thoughts.

The most persistent thought though, is the one about one’s self. We look for the essence of ourselves in something that in fact is a mental construct made out of clustered impressions, memories, thoughts, feelings, desires and expectations. We identify with that construct. To see through its nature – that is, to realise it is only a construct – is possible when the deceptive activity of the mind ceases even momentarily and the only thing remaining is a clear awareness of what is. However, sometimes it can seem that the “I” centred mindset has subsided, but it is still operating covertly.

Before the nature of one’s self is recognised, the lack of knowledge of this can be troublesome. The belief in a separate self causes us to take undue care for its wellbeing. We want lasting satisfaction of all its needs for a self perceived as relatively constant, though life, whose essence is its constant changeability, cannot provide this. We are automatically drawn to sources of satisfaction, in a bid to control them, pin them down and not to lose them. When things turn out differently than planned, we suffer not only the difficulty or pain, but also the negative thoughts, frustrations, fears or anger we add to that. The perception of a separate self leads to a more or less defined sense of dissatisfaction or something missing.

And yet we cling on to the selves we ourselves constructed, because that seems safer. We are so used to identifying with this construct, that releasing that grip can cause sudden fear, or other forms of resistance. Difficult thoughts and memories can surface from the unconsciousness. That is why it is good to consult a more experienced practitioner, if that is needed.

Illusions

By continuing the journey through the mind we will not lose our lives, our consciousness, or our reason. We will only lose some illusions. Those who leave illusions behind do not regret it. They don’t consider total impermanence or the lack of a separate “I” bad news. On the contrary, revealing the illusion of the self removes a cause of much of their trouble. They flow with life through its various circumstances, favourable or not. By being less focused on themselves, they are naturally more aware of the feelings and needs of others. They don’t harm others and act in their interest. Not because they have learned a code of behaviour, or are particularly dutiful or strong-willed, but rather because they are relaxed and compassionate, and they react to their surroundings and to another’s pain or joy.

It is our daily life which is the test of meditation. Immoral behaviour or even harmful thoughts or emotions reveal to us that the illusion of the “I” is still alive and kicking, and that there is still a lot to do in meditation. Essentially, meditation and care for others are mutually supportive. Meditation weakens an egoistic attitude and opens a space for more empathy with others, while caring for others weakens the being centred on one’s “I”. Meditation and mindful awareness through the variety of daily activities in everyday life are mutually supportive.

Becoming free of the illusion of the “I” is not a singular act, but a gradual process. There can indeed be ground-breaking events during it, but the process itself takes time. In the course of meditation we become more skilled at recognising thoughts as thoughts and we don’t get involved in their content. Thoughts and emotions no longer feed each other; we experience spaciousness and clarity of the mind; the sense of the “I” weakens. Sometimes it can be forgotten, but we are still encumbered by it and it can be expressed in different impulses, especially in challenging circumstances.

The mind habitually and automatically sustains the construct of “I”. But when it stops doing so even for a moment, it recognises what that “I” really is. Afterwards the construct returns. That isn’t a bad thing, because we do need it in daily life: to go about our business, to work, to socialise with others. If the insight into the nature of the self is superficial, the “I” can continue imposing itself as a real thing. But deeper insight leaves no space for the illusion of the self. Still, old habits, forged by the “old” way of perceiving the world, may crop up. Our shortcomings aren’t automatically discarded by the insight, rather they are highlighted by it. Meditation allows us to see how mismatched the old patterns of behaviour are against the new perception of the world, once the nature of the self has been recognised. How strongly this recognition will affect our lives is determined by how solid our practice was leading up to it, how deep this recognition was and how open we are to it shaping our day to day thoughts and actions.

Enlightenment

The word “enlightenment” has many meanings and it can be used to describe different stages of the above process.

1. One of the meanings equates enlightenment to meditation itself.
2. Another – to the feeling of being one with the universe.
3. Still another – to any insight into the illusive nature of “I”.
4. Yet another – not any old insight, but the profounder kind  which leaves no illusions as to the nature of the self, even when  the “I” construct returns.
5. Then – an enlightened way of life, free from any habits based  on that illusion and a full awareness in different circumstances.
6. Sometimes you can hear that we are all already enlightened in the sense that no one needs to “remove” their “I”, because you  cannot remove what was never really there to start with.

Mixing these different meanings leads to confusion. Enlightenment in the 4th and 5th meanings listed above, even when not fully realised, is the natural product of consistent practice. It cannot be speeded up by any mental manipulations or by a forceful, ambitious approach. It is better to relax, observe the present moment attentively and open up to the current results of meditation.