Retreat Reports: Western Zen Retreat

The image that comes to mind when I try to sum up the retreat is of a triple: a three-legged stool, a tripod, a triptych. This represents what were for me the three components of the retreat: the huatou, the brushwork, and the sitting. Each locked into the other.

I can’t remember the exact words of the huatou but in essence Joshu asks Nansen how to pursue The Way. Nansen tells him that making…

I arrived not knowing what the retreat was going to be like. I knew we would investigate the question “who am I?” but preferred to find out how once I got there to avoid expectations or anxiety. I was very much looking forward to the luxury of having everything organised for me. I would not have to make any decisions, just follow instructions and bells.

This time, I didn't even wear a watch and…

…The next morning I sat with Dan in his ‘office’. The office was a little log cabin, perched on the side of the mountain, with a wide open door and incense wafting out. His eyes were amused and his feet looked cold as he questioned me.

‘So what?’ he told me. ‘So what if you have the answer? So what if you don’t. So what if you feel your emotions. So what?? Acknowledge it, accept it, and let it…

I have found it difficult to put into words the profound experience of confronting myself which the Investigating Koans retreat gave me. Your early morning short but very precise talks about the practice always answered some searching questions about what to pay attention to in terms of the practice. When, after the exercises, you asked the group encircled just outside the entrance to Gaia House…

The third week in March I participated in a 7-day silent Koan Retreat at Dharma Drum Retreat Center in upstate Pine Bush, New York. Seven days spent focusing on a short exchange between a head monk and a zen master written maybe a thousand years ago. 7 days of silence.

On the second day we were directed to pick the koan or huatou (basically the punch line of a koan, used commonly by Ch’an, the…