The silence becomes very palpable, solid. The quality of experience has been turned up. My koan becomes very distant. What first seemed like a fence, close and restricting, now, has moved to the horizon and eventually disappeared.
Everything seems wrapped in a profound silence which becomes as interesting as the sounds from the distant hills. Things become soft, fine and gentle. They all happen spontaneously at the right time.
Resting in the silence
It's just perfect
Just as it is, here and now.
NOW I'M OUT
EVERYTHING ELSE THE MORE IS!
WHAT IS DEATH?
Death is transition.
The drop of a waterfall.
I'm coming home.....everything speaks of settling in.
Each stone of the barn wall is nestling in snug to the mortar -like everyone here on the third day of this retreat.
During the work everything speaks of letting go and is perfect. The wood that I am sawing seems to be presenting truths about the process I am going through in meditation. The block of wood holds its form until the very last and then suddenly, spontaneously, falls away to the ground!
I take the bucket to the tap to get water for the chemical loo. As the water pours into the bucket it all seems so meaningful and simple at the same time. A silver laughing stream from the tap to the bucket saying, "Let go, let go, let go."
An image of an egg comes up in my minds eye. I am struck with the ease with which the yolk slips from the shell when cracked...plop!
These images come spontaneously to my internal video screen and illustrate the transience of form and the dominance of space.
On the fourth day I experience a power surge of energy. As I am sitting during the communication exercise I feel my belly getting full and then it becomes a boulder. A boulder in a mountain. With the solid stability of the mountain as my base. I feel free, light and playful in my upper body, incredibly powerful, capable of strong swift movement that can explode out of gentle quiet spaciousness and return in the blink of an eye. It is as though I am the power of the universe and the gentleness of the rising smoke of incense, both together at the same time.
EVERYTHING IS PERFECT SOFT TENDER SWEET AS IT IS....AHHH
