Dharma Library

Mahamudra Retreat 2005 - Session One

When we were introducing ourselves last night, several of you remarked on how valuable you found it just coming to the Maenllwyd and how much you valued the place.

Let us begin then by asking why that might be so. I have a good story that helps us here. Some years ago there was a practitioner, Jane Turner, whom some of you might remember, who used to be a…

(Written during a three month solitary retreat at Mount Amiata in Tuscany, Italy).

Sitting by the doorstep 
on a dusty sheepskin 
in the early morning, 
a hazy sun warms my cheeks. 
I wonder what will
come to mind? 
I remember my dreams. 
My thoughts are like 
a bird tied to a pole 
by a long string. 
they fly in endless circles 
under the illusion of freedom.

Alone 
all alone 
in an empty room 
in an empty…

Solitary Retreat at Maenllwyd: Sept. 6 - 13th 2005

On arrival, I felt overjoyed to be at the Maenllwyd and tears flowed on seeing the garden's bright flowers. The sign, "Free" on the outside toilet summed up my hopes and expectations for the week. Before unpacking the car I rang the mule bells, then went up to the Buddha room and lay down on the cook's bed in the alcove where I had planned to…

Day 2, Three Week Retreat

Silent Illumination is essentially very simple. It can be summarized in three sentences:

Look and see.
Look what is there.
And don't add to what is there.

'Look and see': Illumination.

'Don't add anything': Silence.

But it doesn't seem so easy! Why? Because there's something in the way. You! You're in the way of your own seeing. You're disturbing your own mind.

When I…

A Talk given on Silent Illumination, at the 3 week retreat, May 2005, at the Maenllwyd

John has just spoken about the two entrances to Dharma, through Principle and Practice, which Bodhidharma taught us all those centuries ago.

Silent Illumination corresponds to a state, either you are in Silent Illumination experiencing the Principle or you are not. If you are actually in Silent Illumination…

Before setting off on my journey to the retreat I was looking forward to the train journey and to a few hours walking before arriving at the Maenllwyd and I was excited at the prospect of coming on another retreat. However as I walked from Caersws the beautiful scenery only occasionally managed to break through my mental meanderings and I felt rather grumpy at the prospect of more communication…

I arrived at Maenllwyd with a willingness to open to the fullness of my experience, and to be present with that which I regarded as difficult or challenging. I had already been deeply touched by my travelling companions generosity and thoughtfulness regarding our travel arrangements, and my heart was warm and open as we drove through the gates that lead us along the track towards Maenllwyd.

Upon…

Since attending the WZR at Pinebush (2004) I have been listening to tapes of John's talks frequently while driving. Earlier today, driving along and listening, John's question: "Are you that question?" in one of his talk segments about "Tell me who you are." triggered something which caused me to exclaim: "That's it!". It is difficult to explain the shift in my definition of "I" and certain…

Holidays are a complete waste of time!

That's a bit harsh, but you know what I mean. Two days back at work, and where did that wonderful, relaxed 'holiday essence' go? Just like last year, it slipped through your fingers again.

How about if it hung around for a bit longer?

It was with something like this on my mind (and considerable trepidation) that found me driving to Maenllwyd, a remote…

A few miles from the Maenllwyd I telephone home. I squirm like a little girl as I sign off with my partner who reassures me that I'll be OK. Going up the track I pass a departing taxi driver who clearly feels a kindly amusement at my foolishness. I pull into the yard and draw up my handbrake as I look at the seated men in my rear view mirror promising myself that I am not going to get out. With my…