Dharma Library

Suddenly
The presence of
Absence
Yet her bowls still sit
On the kitchen floor
Her bed
Her donut of comfort
Still lies outside
Our bedroom door
I cannot move them
Yet
Though she is so sudden gone
I must ease myself gently
Through this grief
These things are yet remembrance
Of our little friend
Her sudden unexpected end
Death, the unexpected thief
In due time
They will be washed clean
And then put away
Like all memories
…

Written During a Snowy Retreat in January 2025 

midwinter 

a hare's tracks 

returning to solitude

Standing in the yard,
my face turned up to the sky;
soft blessings of rain.

Shimmering orange
of the tree’s pyrotechnics;
the dark bracken rests.

Backlit by a flame
I see my projection,
watchfully waiting.

I look down to see
two old hands resting on my lap;
winter is coming.

I was thinking of
the purity of lotus blossoms,
and slipped in the mud.

Quiet Mind

When the quiet mind comes
I am moving up steadily
Hold after hold
Rock is under my hands
Under my feet
Sky above
Earth below 

When the quiet mind comes
I am in the midst of music
Note following note
Hands, steel and timber
All one
As each song unfolds 

When the quiet mind comes
I am ocean floating
On a glassy board
Waiting for the only wave
That will carry me
To shore

When the quiet mind comes
I am…

Look up!
Soot grey snowflakes
dancing, whirling, falling, landing –
white side up.

Silence…
What is there?
What IS there?

Chestnut bud in a vase
Feels pain in her green petals forcibly opened
By a greedy glance

Achoo!!!
The whole universe
Broke into pieces 

This mouthful of tea
Never drunk before
Nor ever again

An old monk
Slowly walking step by step
Through a violent storm

Frost
Winter may come any day now
Where has the last one gone? 

The stream
Flowing all the time
Never tired

Sprin…

Planting a great oak at Shawbottom
and returning each year to say, “I did that”,
that would be something.
The sapling trees were ready in pots,
the spade resting against the shed.

I could only claim a short-lived success
weeding between the paving slabs.
About his many enlightenment experiences
Sawaki Roshi once said,
“they didn’t amount to a whole hill of beans”.

In my secret koan, ‘Tokusan’s Bowls’,
eg…

The fresh crisp morning air assails my senses as I quietly close the kitchen door behind me. The gravel crunches under my feet, yet all is silent.

I turn the corner of the street and the south-west wind rushes across my face.

I hear the sea before I see the sea, for all is still dark at this early hour.

The smell of wet briny beach is strong as I descend the steps to the beachside path and turn…

the guest house by rumi 

This being human is a guest house. 

Every morning a new arrival. 

A joy, a depression, a meanness, 

some momentary awareness comes 

as an unexpected visitor… 

Welcome and entertain them all! 

Be grateful for whoever comes, 

because each has been sent as a 

guide from beyond. 

Communicating in a group via the Internet during a viral pandemic has been an…

1994 

I attend my first Western Zen Buddhist retreat at Maenllwyd. The small Welsh farmhouse stands on a hillside at the end of a rough track below a narrow wooded valley, which leads up to a bare horizon. It just sits there, with no electricity, amidst the fields of sheep, aloof and barely visible from the straggly village some way below. The eastern horizon offers wide skies for the sunrise and…