Dharma Library

As I neared Maenllwyd I could see where I needed to get to as I recognised it from the pictures but I wasn’t sure which way to go. One way had a closed gate and appeared to go further away from where I wanted to be, and the other way was an open gate and appeared to head more in the direction of where I was trying to get to. I decided to take the route which seemed to go towards where I wanted to…

We had been curious about the Western Zen Retreat after hearing about it - it was a process that had been developed by Dr. John Crook, Master Sheng Yen's (Shifu's) first Western Dharma heir. At first we thought the retreat was for beginners, only because we had been told that the retreat was a good way for those new to Chan to start their practice. But after taking part in a number of Western Zen…

The retreat was a scientific experiment and the constants were meditation, eating, working, sleeping, waking, meditating. The repetition of the same actions over time showed the illusions of the mind and how untrustworthy the mind is. After the turmoil came a calm and then an essence appeared.

Who Am I?

I can't describe who "I" am any longer. All labels have dropped as they are all illusions.…

Before setting off on my journey to the retreat I was looking forward to the train journey and to a few hours walking before arriving at the Maenllwyd and I was excited at the prospect of coming on another retreat. However as I walked from Caersws the beautiful scenery only occasionally managed to break through my mental meanderings and I felt rather grumpy at the prospect of more communication…

I arrived at Maenllwyd with a willingness to open to the fullness of my experience, and to be present with that which I regarded as difficult or challenging. I had already been deeply touched by my travelling companions generosity and thoughtfulness regarding our travel arrangements, and my heart was warm and open as we drove through the gates that lead us along the track towards Maenllwyd.

Upon…

Since attending the WZR at Pinebush (2004) I have been listening to tapes of John's talks frequently while driving. Earlier today, driving along and listening, John's question: "Are you that question?" in one of his talk segments about "Tell me who you are." triggered something which caused me to exclaim: "That's it!". It is difficult to explain the shift in my definition of "I" and certain…

Holidays are a complete waste of time!

That's a bit harsh, but you know what I mean. Two days back at work, and where did that wonderful, relaxed 'holiday essence' go? Just like last year, it slipped through your fingers again.

How about if it hung around for a bit longer?

It was with something like this on my mind (and considerable trepidation) that found me driving to Maenllwyd, a remote…

How is life fulfilled?
To make everyone happy and to help,
that’s been how my life is viewed.
Parents, siblings, friends, co-workers,
husband and grandmother,
to whom heavy responsibilities I feel.
Regrets, guilt and discontent,
I thought I knew
how it is for life to be fulfilled.

But wait. How can fulfillment rely on others,
if, in perfection, everything lies right here?
Right now, how is life fulfilled?
…

A few miles from the Maenllwyd I telephone home. I squirm like a little girl as I sign off with my partner who reassures me that I'll be OK. Going up the track I pass a departing taxi driver who clearly feels a kindly amusement at my foolishness. I pull into the yard and draw up my handbrake as I look at the seated men in my rear view mirror promising myself that I am not going to get out. With my…

John Rowan has made immensely important contributions to contemporary psychotherapy and humanistic psychology in Britain. We were therefore delighted when he expressed a wish to join us on retreat. Here are his valuable reflections on his experience. We send him our best wishes. Come again John!! (Eds)

Thursday 20th

Went to catch the 2.10 train to Birmingham-Shrewsbury-Llandrindod Wells. Got to…