Dharma Library

(Given at a Western Zen Retreat in 1988) 

We have been doing a meditation called searching the heart in which we have been allowing the experiences of our lives as they are remembered to rise within us – to tell us their story and bring us their feelings. In this way we have been reviewing and uncovering and allowing to emerge that which we are. Maybe we have also been seeing that, when that…

Rushing off to begin a solitary retreat last month, I suddenly remembered that I wanted to check something in the liturgy so, in a hurry (yes, I know!!), I grabbed the first copy I could find and set off to my hut. Only later, once I’d settled down, did I take a look and realise that it was a very old copy indeed. To my surprise, there, on the front cover (see overleaf), is some writing in John’s…

For a few moments I believe I’ve forgotten what day it is. The pandemic has removed an element of usual time for me as my accustomed props and punctuations of the week have become redundant and my old map for time spent has become obsolete. Global and local are now not so separated as ‘remote’ acquires a new meaning and I can spend time, described as real, with distant friends. I idle away at bits…

Fanfares
celestial choirs
no
a soft ‘aha’
paradigm shifted 

eating my breakfast
cat on my lap
if I need to add to it
I have not grasped it 

I have misunderstood
we zen practitioners
need to
get over
our selves [sic]

just sit …
too simple …
we are desperate
to add to it … 

Don’t 

Drop attempts at explanation.
Drop teachings.
Sit.
Live life.
Nothing extra.
Nothing missing.
Nothing lasts.

Gratitude.

From a Western Zen Retreat, November 2018

There lives the dearest freshness deep down things.
Gerard Manley Hopkins

Time rears up, paisley-patterned. No need
for underlay. Or even floor. Wells
out of its own guts. Weaves itself
out of itself second by second by second.
Now. And now. And now. Has me knotted in
under and over and through, in crimson green
black yellow blue. Has me turning unfurling
into…

Emptiness Waka

What is there to grasp
When there is nothing to lose
Point the finger; where!
What can you truly possess
In a world of constant flux

Buddha Nature

There is nothing new under the moon
There is no you, for anything to happen to
Though you write your name on the dotted line
There’s no individual for that word or sound to define
Others may speak of your praise or ills
But there’s no one…

Similar to most people in our Sangha I have looked at a few walls in my time. Whereas I might not be a great meditator, you could still say that to some extent I am quite an expert on having a close intimate investigatory connection with the lumps and bumps, colours and shadows on the walls that have been in front of my cushion. But this is something different; I am not in a sitting meditation…

Because of your military background and Sandhurst voice,
Because of your wild white eyebrows, as mobile as eels,
Because I knew you before I knew you,
Because you could see with your third eye,
Because you saw me and smiled,
Because you said, ‘Are you ready for an adventure?’
Because I felt heard and known,
Because of your delight in chocolate biscuits,
Because of the predictability of cauliflower cheese…

No internet, no phones - is Joy!
Practicing in silent harmony with others - is Joy!
The Mind becoming still with the passing days - is Joy!
Chopping Onions - is Joy! (and some tears)
Sweeping the kitchen floor - is Joy!
Sarah’s food - is Joy!
Tea and Cake at 4.15pm - is Joy!
No real coffee - is temporary suffering!
Discovering Earplugs - is Joy!
Knocking on the door of the cave of the heart, and finding it…

An introduction for those new to meditation and for those who wish to develop their meditation further.

What is Meditation?

We are used to the concepts of training the body in a skill or for fitness or dexterity, and of training the mind in factual knowledge or in a mental skill such as arithmetic. Meditation is many things but it is none of these. Meditation is a training of the mind to be…