Dharma Library

Mahamudra Retreat February 1999, my Retreat Report

My practice at home had been going well. I had read 'The Yogins of Ladakh' shortly after it was published and had enjoyed it very much. I particularly found Tipun's Notebook revealing. Often I have found the words we use not useful for me in working out where I am in terms of practice (a karmic problem). But somehow the Notebook approached the…

I arrived at Maenllwyd, in the deepest despair I have ever known - the 'dark night of my soul'. Having been to an Introductory Chan Retreat a few months previously, I had some dim awareness that this was a place where I could safely be, that is, be allowed to be, in that dark night.

And indeed, I was in a place, and with people, who accepted my existence well before I could.

I had spoken to…

Akshobya

Dark light before dawn
no wind and in the silence
a fox barking on the hill;
suddenly in the candle lit room
the cold landscape unfurls
invisible rocks, burrows of badgers
trolling the turf for bulbs and insects
the starlit dome, dusk before dawn
Blue immensity.

Ratnasambhava

Sunrise, far to the SSE
almost at the point of turning
a midwinter sky lined by the tracery of trees,
northern thrushes…

Paper presented at the conference 'The Psychology of Awakening II' at Dartington Hall, October 1998 ⁽¹⁾

Western Buddhism: Problems and Presentations

In recent years a number of cases of individual corruption in sexual and financial matters have been exposed in Buddhist organisations, usually the result of the behaviour or indiscretions of individuals in leadership roles⁽²⁾. Ken Jones' recent…

Pale light after dawn
Low clouds scudding over green fields
Weathervane - SSW

Nine cars
In the yard
Tathagatas

Welsh hills in June
Misty rain
Wet tents

Sunbeams at dusk
Reaching round the corner of the hill
Only this week the sun so far

Cutting the tall grass
goggle eyed frog leaps for safety
Sorry !

Round the temple chanting
Koonyam poussa koon yam poussa
Outside cuckoos calling

Morning mantra
Steadies
M…

This was my first retreat of any kind and it was very difficult to start with the rigorous Chan approach. However, I felt very privileged to be accepted onto the retreat and I did not want to miss such an incredible opportunity to improve my practice. I undertook the retreat on the basis of intuition; it seemed entirely the right thing to do and the right time to be doing it.

Three years ago Zen…

for Hughie

High in the hills of Wales
somewhere above Ceredigion
a fenceless gate swings in the wind.

Bold spirit are you?
A rugged glance, good boots or a 4 by 4
and you're away.

among sheep and ravens
cloudwise among crags
bogs and sudden mist

a falling white out
lost in the desert
chilly too.

Coming down a valley no one ever saw before
the dead still sing in the Inn.
Finding a way home not so easy…

The opening words of the retreat "Where the path stops, you go on into the snow alone" have an enormously powerful effect on me and the combination of the clear Welsh air, the burning incense, the peace, and the clarity of the bell bring tears to my eyes and a lump in my throat so that I am unable to join in the words myself.

The retreat begins, the guest master cheerfully and conscientiously…

Chan Buddhism is undergoing a marked revival in mainland China. Monasteries are renewing their fabric and providing services to the public. Meditation is starting again for young monks in the Chan halls. In July 1997, with my old friend Yiu Yan-nang as interpreter, I visited two of the most famous monasteries in southern China and was surprised by what we found.

When I entered China from Hong…

First meeting: June 1996: In June 1996 John Crook called an assembly of Chan practitioners to a meeting at the Maenllwyd to consider his proposal to respond to numerous requests for a development in the field of Chan practice in the UK by setting up a charitable institution to promote Chan in Great Britain.

The following persons attended: Tim Paine, Frank Tait, Caroline Paine, Simon Child, Sally…