Dharma Library

On the first evening John told us that he was going to teach silent illumination. This is a method that I have felt affinity for, and have begun to use on previous retreats. I have had glimpses of serenity and silence but I have found it difficult to sustain and use at home. Should I stick to my plan of "raising the doubt" as I had set out to do? I decided that the only thing to do was to go along…

I arrived at the retreat in poor shape. I was tired and stressed and, although there were no major problems in my life, the general wear and tear had taken its toll. I always expect the first days of a retreat to be difficult but this time they were exceptionally so. During a previous retreat I had developed a severe middle-ear infection which had required a course of anti-biotics. I had had an…

I felt very much at home sitting around the fire on the first evening, happy I'd come and ready for the retreat. I'd taken a bit more care than usual to prepare myself with additional meditation and tried not to arrive too tired. My wife and I have had a lot of sadness in the last few years, which has beaten us down, and the retreat was a chance to emerge from this. I also wanted to explore the…

1.

You carry me on your shoulders 
through the dark 
and explain to me 
the stars. 
The owl in the old oak 
calls in the night.
You chuckle, joyful 
in that mysterious bird. 
One day you received a stuffed fox 
and, to everyone's horror,
set it up in the hall. 
You wanted to put tiny 
light bulbs in its eyes and make it see.
Later the owl came 
to sit above the grandfather clock 
striking the hours 
with its…

Written during a solo retreat.

In the practice of the Dharma it becomes essential to understand that within the everyday lies the Great Joy. It is not that Joy is elsewhere nor that it has to be laboriously worked for. It is not that one is worthless, undeserving, wicked and hence unable to discover it Dharma Joy itself lies within the everyday.

Why then are we so normally cast down, anxious,…

In Memoriam GMC.

One day this summer, standing in one of the temples of Phugtal Gompa hidden deep in the Zangskar mountains of the Himalaya, I asked my companion, Nathaniel Tarn, American poet and participant on my cultural tour to Ladakh, whether he was a Buddhist. Nathaniel was inspecting the extraordinary 12th century paintings on the walls, paintings he had laboured hard and with difficulties…

This poem, parts of which were written at various times in the 1960's and revised now in 1993, is dedicated to Yiu Yan Nang, JP, now (1993) Deputy Commissioner of Labour, Hong Kong.

Reading a book of Chinese translations
I remember my Chinese friend,
bamboo breezes drift though my study,
moonlight on the terraced temple shines again.
Climbing to those high places
sometimes you picked flowers
and in the…

I began my second Chan retreat at the Maenllwyd with the method of counting the breath but soon, stimulated by the phrases" Nothing to do. Nowhere to go", I changed to pure breath observation, a relief in its simplicity.

Quite early on I became aware of how my whole body liked to turn very slowly and deliberately around to my left like a spring gradually winding itself up. It was as though I was…

How different my life would have been had I never attended retreats at Maenllwyd I cannot say, but without a doubt my life has changed phenomenally over the last four years. Until then, when I had the good fortune to come on my first Western Zen Retreat, I had been motivated almost entirely by fear and self- doubt. I had a deep rooted sense of worthlessness, critical of self and others. I was…

A Chan Retreat begins for me when leaving home; making the journey as relaxed as possible; taking my time. In the preceding months I'd felt the need for a period of concentrated practice, and was willing and determined to let go of the 'daily round' and make good use of this rare opportunity. I was greeted in the yard by John, whose warm welcome and gesture to park the car sealed my 'arrival'.

As…