Dharma Library

Solitary Retreat at Maenllwyd: Sept. 6 - 13th 2005

On arrival, I felt overjoyed to be at the Maenllwyd and tears flowed on seeing the garden's bright flowers. The sign, "Free" on the outside toilet summed up my hopes and expectations for the week. Before unpacking the car I rang the mule bells, then went up to the Buddha room and lay down on the cook's bed in the alcove where I had planned to…

Day 2, Three Week Retreat

Silent Illumination is essentially very simple. It can be summarized in three sentences:

Look and see.
Look what is there.
And don't add to what is there.

'Look and see': Illumination.

'Don't add anything': Silence.

But it doesn't seem so easy! Why? Because there's something in the way. You! You're in the way of your own seeing. You're disturbing your own mind.

When I…

A Talk given on Silent Illumination, at the 3 week retreat, May 2005, at the Maenllwyd

John has just spoken about the two entrances to Dharma, through Principle and Practice, which Bodhidharma taught us all those centuries ago.

Silent Illumination corresponds to a state, either you are in Silent Illumination experiencing the Principle or you are not. If you are actually in Silent Illumination…

Before setting off on my journey to the retreat I was looking forward to the train journey and to a few hours walking before arriving at the Maenllwyd and I was excited at the prospect of coming on another retreat. However as I walked from Caersws the beautiful scenery only occasionally managed to break through my mental meanderings and I felt rather grumpy at the prospect of more communication…

I arrived at Maenllwyd with a willingness to open to the fullness of my experience, and to be present with that which I regarded as difficult or challenging. I had already been deeply touched by my travelling companions generosity and thoughtfulness regarding our travel arrangements, and my heart was warm and open as we drove through the gates that lead us along the track towards Maenllwyd.

Upon…

Since attending the WZR at Pinebush (2004) I have been listening to tapes of John's talks frequently while driving. Earlier today, driving along and listening, John's question: "Are you that question?" in one of his talk segments about "Tell me who you are." triggered something which caused me to exclaim: "That's it!". It is difficult to explain the shift in my definition of "I" and certain…

Holidays are a complete waste of time!

That's a bit harsh, but you know what I mean. Two days back at work, and where did that wonderful, relaxed 'holiday essence' go? Just like last year, it slipped through your fingers again.

How about if it hung around for a bit longer?

It was with something like this on my mind (and considerable trepidation) that found me driving to Maenllwyd, a remote…

There in the garden, a young monk speaks: "Master, I've been thinking about getting a dogma, and I seek your advice. Any thoughts on the matter?"

The Old Monk collects her thoughts, and calmly replies: "Well my son, everyone has a pet belief, so why should you be any different? Yes, we human beings have had dogmas since the dawn of recorded history. This is understandable. You cannot imagine how…

Wednesday morning in the Chan Hall. Half way through the Shining Silence retreat. Jake had just spoken, among other things, about how we could exhaust ourselves if we tried to extinguish, repress, every thought, and that we should be willing to allow some thoughts into our mindful space. This, he pointed out, was different from in the early stages of the retreat, when calming the mind is…

The Mahamudra Retreat, December 2003

This was to be my first experience of guestmastering for John. I had guestmastered for others; notably for Hilary, but this was assisting the 'big cheese'. It had the formal label of 'training', even though all retreats; in whatever capacity one participates in them, are training. I was really looking forward to it, but I was also slightly apprehensive.…