Dharma Library

The WZR was my first retreat with the WCF. Before that I had been practicing Zen in the Soto tradition for about eight years. I participated in about half a dozen sesshins with Roshis from Japan, and sitting one period of forty minutes daily at home.

What brought me to the WCF were two things: firstly at his age Roshi had became too fragile to come to Europe to hold sesshins; secondly and more…

The retreat gave me a space and context to deal with a situation that seemed overwhelming and allowed me to feel grief and sadness freely, without any preconditions or parameters but just simply for what they were. It helped me to reconnect with my feelings and allow them to flow through me or out of me. The support of the group and everybody working together on their inner world within the…

As I neared Maenllwyd I could see where I needed to get to as I recognised it from the pictures but I wasn’t sure which way to go. One way had a closed gate and appeared to go further away from where I wanted to be, and the other way was an open gate and appeared to head more in the direction of where I was trying to get to. I decided to take the route which seemed to go towards where I wanted to…

The following is a practitioner's report of a silent illumination retreat led by Simon Child from November 20-27, 2010. As is the custom, the retreatant's name is not being published. The report was edited for the Chan Magazine by Simon Child.

The first day and a half of the retreat was strangely tumultuous. I have been to retreat many times but this was only the second time this decade that I…

Sunday

Courgette, coconut and Lemon soup.
Bread rolls
Citrus and poppy seed cake.
Mushroom and Lovage stew
Creamy polenta
Green allotment salad.

The beginning of a Hua-Tou retreat, my first retreat of the year and I feel I really need it. Somehow, I’ve lost focus and cannot see beyond grey clouds. There is a nice group of people, balanced; John and Jake as teachers, which is quite a treat.

I came a…

I’m not quite sure why it has taken me until now to write this report, nor why I have decided this moment to do it. Maybe it will become clear as I write it.

The retreat was a Silent Illumination retreat at Maenllwyd with John Crook and Fiona Nuttall in July 2010. Today is 5th November 2010. Maybe the lapse of time is portentous? I can see this as I write it.

The weather was totally beautiful…

Two experiences come to mind from the retreat:

One morning as I walked outside the Chan hall, I observed 15 to 20 birds darting in and out of trees in unison as they flew up the hill. I felt a sudden jolt, like someone had thrust a knife into my heart. "Huh!" I gasped. But, it was not pain that I felt, it was pure, intense joy. I'm not exactly sure what happened but, in a way, I became those…

A monk said to the Master "The Buddhas of past present and future don't understand. Cats and oxen do. Why don't the Buddhas understand?" Master Nanquan replied, "Before they entered the Deer Park they knew it. "The monk said, "How is it that cats and oxen do know it?" "How could you doubt that they do?" responded Nanquan.

When I read the list of koans in this Koan retreat, I was intrigued by this…

The retreat was a scientific experiment and the constants were meditation, eating, working, sleeping, waking, meditating. The repetition of the same actions over time showed the illusions of the mind and how untrustworthy the mind is. After the turmoil came a calm and then an essence appeared.

Who Am I?

I can't describe who "I" am any longer. All labels have dropped as they are all illusions.…

I approached the retreat with some trepidation owing to my being workmaster, my first time on a retreat of any size. Previously I had carried out this role, but only on smaller retreats and very much as an assistant. This time I had to get things organised and, most worrying of all, get up in the morning and get things started! Not only that, but make sure I didn't miss giving any signals and let…