Dharma Library

This library provides a database of articles, some from past issues of New Chan Forum and some available only from the website.

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Chronological List of articles:

So Wonderful

Calligraphy for the character Chan

How different my life would have been had I never attended retreats at Maenllwyd I cannot say, but without a doubt my life has changed phenomenally over the last four years. Until then, when I had the good fortune to come on my first Western Zen Retreat, I had been motivated almost entirely by fear and self- doubt. I had a deep rooted sense of worthlesness, critical of self and others. I was…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 1993 , Chan Retreat Reports , Anon

Wind and Silence

Calligraphy for the character Chan

A Chan Retreat begins for me when leaving home; making the journey as relaxed as possible; taking my time. In the preceding months I'd felt the need for a period of concentrated practice, and was willing and determined to let go of the 'daily round' and make good use of this rare opportunity. I was greeted in the yard by John, whose warm welcome and gesture to park the car sealed my 'arrival'.

As…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 1993 , Chan Retreat Reports , For Newcomers , Anon

The Little Nun

Calligraphy for the character Chan

I cannot write in hindsight, yet three days after the Retreat ending I am still in it, with a deep sense of calm and sitting sessions that pass seemingly fast. Vast silence is dearly perceived. This is perhaps the benefit of 'not meditating". This was the second Retreat(1) I had attended within a month so I settled in easily. The sittings were clear the first morning, but after lunch…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 1993 , Anon , Silent Illumination Retreat Reports

In Touch with Gentleness

Calligraphy for the character Chan

I find I'm still struggling with my Koan. The retreat was a "great privilege". That is the expression I find myself using most when I'm trying to explain it for other people. The privilege lay in the opportunity to do such deep work and to be supported and feel quite safe and surrounded by calm and beauty while doing so. The greatest beauty for me lay in the lights, the assortment of candles, oil…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 1993 , Western Zen Retreat Reports , Anon

A Western Zen Retreat Interview

Calligraphy for the character Chan

Teacher: Tell me who you are?
Participant: I am the answer.
Teacher: What is the question?
Participant: Moment to moment.
Teacher: What do you feel?

Participant: Space with no boundary or pressure. (THIS SPACE DID NOT FEEL VAST OR LARGE OR IN ANY WAY OVERWHELMING, YET ONE SENSED IT HAD NO END, WAS TIMELESS, AND HAD EXISTED BEFORE THE BIG BANG, WHICH WAS EXTENDING INTO IT.)

Teacher: What do you hear?
…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 1992 , Western Zen Retreat Reports , Anon

Why? Why? Why?

Calligraphy for the character Chan

Physically, I did not find the retreat too difficult. Having regularly practised the one hour meditation sessions traditional in vipassana, sitting for half an hour at a time is not much of a problem for me. And the exercises offered during the breaks between sessions were enough to get the stiffness out of my limbs. Alternating between sitting cross legged and kneeling also helped me avoid any…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 1992 , Anon , Koan Retreat Reports

Mind In Flow

Calligraphy for the character Chan

I have just returned home, and it seems sensible to write the report before the memories of the retreat begin to slip away. Yet even by writing about it, the events seem so strange and wonderful that words alone cannot express the sheer depth and vast space that has at times punctuated the practise; the clarity of perception, the long silences that can only be likened to the desert, not a…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 1992 , Chan Retreat Reports , For Newcomers , Anon

What Can I Say?

Calligraphy for the character Chan

The retreat was an opportunity to practice. But it was also a rare event, for when does a Chan Master such as Master Sheng Yen ever come to a remote Welsh cottage to lead a retreat? Those of us who were able to participate were indeed fortunate.

Last December in New York, Shifu advised me to rest before my next retreat. Having suffered greatly in New York, I made sure I took his advice. I…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 1992 , Chan Retreat Reports , Anon

Raising the Doubt

Calligraphy for the character Chan

There is no beginning and no end to it, the Sesshin Soto Chan style began on my 49th birthday and ended on my 59th; ten years of ordinary living in one week. So much tension and pain has left my mind-body, and is still leaving me, falling away after another three days. There is much silent stillness now and longer periods of being without thinking, just not habitual and unnecessary stirring this…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 1992 , Anon , Chan Retreat Reports

Where's the Trick?

Calligraphy for the character Chan

I was fortunate to be able to collect Shifu, Guo Yen Hse and Paul Kennedy from the airport. We broke our journey to Wales in Bristol in order to see my family for lunch. As we were leaving and my wife was wishing us well for the retreat, Shifu said, in reference to the retreat, "It's a trick!"

"Yes," my wife replied, "But it's a very good one, and a very necessary one," looking pointedly in…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 1992 , For Newcomers , Anon , Koan Retreat Reports

Western Zen Retreat

Calligraphy for the character Chan

The silence becomes very palpable, solid. The quality of experience has been turned up. My koan becomes very distant. What first seemed like a fence, close and restricting, now, has moved to the horizon and eventually disappeared.

Everything seems wrapped in a profound silence which becomes as interesting as the sounds from the distant hills. Things become soft, fine and gentle. They all happen…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 1991 , Western Zen Retreat Reports , Anon

On Meeting a Monster

Calligraphy for the character Chan

This was my first Chan retreat and I was so excited. My life felt calm and stable and I hoped to be able to work through whatever the Universe presented. I also hoped I would learn greater concentration in sitting to deepen my novice practice. On a previous retreat I had perceived the futility of living solely under the influence of my ego states and it seemed pointless not to search further…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 1991 , Chan Retreat Reports , Anon

A Chinese in Wales

Calligraphy for the character Chan

When the plane began to descend on Heathrow I was wondering how I should explain to the immigration officer the purpose of my trip to the UK. Would he feel it strange that a Chinese living in Hong Kong should have come to the UK for a Chan retreat? Would he be suspicious of my words?

For several years I have been looking for an opportunity to receive authentic training in Chan meditation…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 1991 , Anon , Silent Illumination Retreat Reports

How to be Me?

Calligraphy for the character Chan

Lurching up the steep approach road to the Maenllwyd, I liked the feel of a cottage tucked up in the hillside - a Zen mountain temple. Perhaps, not so surprisingly, I instantly recognized one of the participants as an old war-horse from other sesshins. John appeared and made me feel immediately at home. He had a sort of swashbuckling pirate look about him which I rather liked, and an immediate…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 1991 , Chan Retreat Reports , Anon

Joy and Silence

Calligraphy for the character Chan

I have practised for quite a number of years, receiving help from various people in different traditions. My practice has tended to be erratic, never very strong or sustained - though I might sit every day. Sometimes it has just been half-hearted, but my main problem has been doubting the worth of the practice, and more importantly doubting my own ability to practice fully or make any real…

Western Chan Fellowship CIO

Categories: 1991 , Anon , Silent Illumination Retreat Reports

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