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Retreat Reports: Koan (Gongan) Retreat

We publish selections from retreat reports written following Western Chan Fellowship retreats, to illustrate the range of experiences people go through as they investigate themselves in silent meditation. This page features reports written following attendance at one of our koan retreats, also called ‘Investigating Koans’. These reports are printed anonymously and may be lightly edited.

  • Person sitting on stone block overlooking landscape

    Anonymous |

    Several times during my retreat at Maenllwyd I was reminded of the many weeks I have spent alone walking in the High Pyrenees. The aching legs, back neck and shoulders; the relentlessness of the load on my back; the near exhaustion and mental stupor; the gratitude for occasional breaks with their slow recovery of the determination to go on no matter what. The recurrent question in my mind "Why on…

    Read more of: Who is Dragging this Old Corpse Along?
  • Person sitting on stone block overlooking landscape

    Anonymous |

    Dokusan:

    "I'm frightened!"
    "How big do you feel?"
    "Oh - small"
    "How old are you?"
    "Seven".
    "Be kind to the little boy inside you. Go and look into his fear."

    Back on my cushion, the little boy in me and I talked together.

    "Why are you hiding?"
    "I'm scared."
    "Why?"
    "Dad's going to beat me."

    And as we talked it through, and I cried with fear, my heart went out to the little boy in my memory. I comforted…

    Read more of: A Moment in Dokusan

©Western Chan Fellowship CIO 2023. May not be quoted for commercial purposes. Anyone wishing to quote for non-commercial purposes may seek permission from the WCF Secretary.

The articles on this website have been submitted by various authors and the views expressed do not necessarily represent the views of the Western Chan Fellowship.