Dharma Library

1.

You carry me on your shoulders 
through the dark 
and explain to me 
the stars. 
The owl in the old oak 
calls in the night.
You chuckle, joyful 
in that mysterious bird. 
One day you received a stuffed fox 
and, to everyone's horror,
set it up in the hall. 
You wanted to put tiny 
light bulbs in its eyes and make it see.
Later the owl came 
to sit above the grandfather clock 
striking the hours 
with its…

This poem, parts of which were written at various times in the 1960's and revised now in 1993, is dedicated to Yiu Yan Nang, JP, now (1993) Deputy Commissioner of Labour, Hong Kong.

Reading a book of Chinese translations
I remember my Chinese friend,
bamboo breezes drift though my study,
moonlight on the terraced temple shines again.
Climbing to those high places
sometimes you picked flowers
and in the…

I began my second Chan retreat at the Maenllwyd with the method of counting the breath but soon, stimulated by the phrases" Nothing to do. Nowhere to go", I changed to pure breath observation, a relief in its simplicity.

Quite early on I became aware of how my whole body liked to turn very slowly and deliberately around to my left like a spring gradually winding itself up. It was as though I was…

How different my life would have been had I never attended retreats at Maenllwyd I cannot say, but without a doubt my life has changed phenomenally over the last four years. Until then, when I had the good fortune to come on my first Western Zen Retreat, I had been motivated almost entirely by fear and self- doubt. I had a deep rooted sense of worthlessness, critical of self and others. I was…

A Chan Retreat begins for me when leaving home; making the journey as relaxed as possible; taking my time. In the preceding months I'd felt the need for a period of concentrated practice, and was willing and determined to let go of the 'daily round' and make good use of this rare opportunity. I was greeted in the yard by John, whose warm welcome and gesture to park the car sealed my 'arrival'.

As…

I cannot write in hindsight, yet three days after the Retreat ending I am still in it, with a deep sense of calm and sitting sessions that pass seemingly fast. Vast silence is dearly perceived. This is perhaps the benefit of 'not meditating". This was the second Retreat¹ I had attended within a month so I settled in easily. The sittings were clear the first morning, but after lunch tiredness set…

The editors of this book Dr John Crook, Reader in Ethology at Bristol University and Buddhist Scholar and teacher, and Dr David Fontana, Reader in Educational Psychology at Cardiff University, author and therapist, have brought together seventeen essays, most of which are based upon papers presented at a conference on 'Eastern Approaches to Self and Mind' sponsored by the British Psychological…

I find I'm still struggling with my Koan. The retreat was a "great privilege". That is the expression I find myself using most when I'm trying to explain it for other people. The privilege lay in the opportunity to do such deep work and to be supported and feel quite safe and surrounded by calm and beauty while doing so. The greatest beauty for me lay in the lights, the assortment of candles, oil…

Teacher: Tell me who you are?
Participant: I am the answer.
Teacher: What is the question?
Participant: Moment to moment.
Teacher: What do you feel?

Participant: Space with no boundary or pressure. (THIS SPACE DID NOT FEEL VAST OR LARGE OR IN ANY WAY OVERWHELMING, YET ONE SENSED IT HAD NO END, WAS TIMELESS, AND HAD EXISTED BEFORE THE BIG BANG, WHICH WAS EXTENDING INTO IT.)

Teacher: What do you hear?
…

Hebe Welbourne, who died a few months ago at the age of 100, was one of the first people to attend John Crook’s retreats at the Maenllwyd and continued to sit with the Bristol Chan group until just before the Covid lockdown. Even then she went on meditating alone with the group in her room every Thursday evening until her death, and we always lit an extra candle to symbolise her ‘presence’ with…