Dharma Library

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Chronological List of articles:

I came to the New York retreat unsure of what to expect. Earlier retreats at Maenllwyd had afforded powerful experiences and insight into dilemmas. In the back of my mind however I began to feel that in some way I was beginning to second guess the retreat process and was becoming too familiar with John's centre in Wales. I wanted to embark on a retreat with no idea of where I might come out at the…

A talk delivered at Tibet House in New York City, on 5 November, 1994 and edited by Linda Peer and Harry Miller, edited with permission for NCF by John Crook 1998. In this talk Shifu tells us about the traditional uses to which the Sutras are put in China. Some of us may like to make use of these methods. For Westerners Sutra reading is also important. In particular the oldest Sutras, the ones…


Before we try to understand Linji, from whom our tradition derives, then are some things to be said. Linji seems strange to us; we who are used to cause and consequence and well-drawn argument. We sit and giggle over the delicious way in which the master affronts his questioners. Yet we have no understanding of why he does it. We marvel over the cleverness of a Zen paradox, but we have no insight…

It was a cliff overhang rather than a real cave. But the walls glowed with beautiful lichens, and at one end was a rockfall hung with ferns. I cleared out the sheep dung, set up a little shrine, cut a bed of reeds and laid out my sleeping bag. I was in business at least as a part-time hermit.

Notwithstanding two decades of tough Zen training, I still had a romantic itch for the hermit life - all…

Tantric Retreat, Maenllwyd, July 1994

Driving up to Maenllwyd, knowing that I would be asked, I tried to formulate the reason as to why I wanted to participate in the retreat. I couldn't really think of an answer and was quite relieved when not asked. With hindsight I think that I went because I was curious as to what "Adding Tantra to the Path" entailed and wanted to experience the same…

On the first evening John told us that he was going to teach silent illumination. This is a method that I have felt affinity for, and have begun to use on previous retreats. I have had glimpses of serenity and silence but I have found it difficult to sustain and use at home. Should I stick to my plan of "raising the doubt" as I had set out to do? I decided that the only thing to do was to go along…

I arrived at the retreat in poor shape. I was tired and stressed and, although there were no major problems in my life, the general wear and tear had taken its toll. I always expect the first days of a retreat to be difficult but this time they were exceptionally so. During a previous retreat I had developed a severe middle-ear infection which had required a course of anti-biotics. I had had…

I always tried to be so good
And do the things that Buddha would
But now I find it's come to pass
That no good things were made to last.

So now I stand upon this hill
Submit myself to thine own will
And in the merry month of May
The beast I feared has come to play.

I've given up the strength to fight
No longer yearn for love or light
For now it's hell's gates that open to receive me
And it's the Antichrist…

Oh, resolute pine
how you have stolen my heart!
Majestic and proud as a warrior ever-watchful,
behind Maenllwyd.

It is clear there is nowhere to go:
night follows day
for the time-worn shepherd
alone with the hills.

(from a seven day solitary retreat on the Ystrad Estate in Radnorshire)

Surrounded by sprouts 
stone cottage 
labouring poor

Sleep so deep 
I forget the names 
of lovers long ago

Small birds sing their evensong 
how sharp the incense!

Smoke drifts 
from my neighbour's chimney 
morning rain

Birdsong and rain 
incense and solitude 
day follows day

Young flames leap 
in pale sunlight 
it's Sunday morning!

Hanging up…


Believe in the Buddha, learn the Dharma, respect the Sangha;
Triple gem is the bright lamp of ten thousand generations.
Uplift the quality of mankind;
Establish the pure land in the human world.
First, understand grace and the repayment of grace;
To benefit others is to benefit oneself.
To make one's best effort is the highest virtue;
Don't create difference between one another or argue for more or less.

Published with permission and lightly edited from Chan Magazine. Spring 1994 11-15.

Shifu, I have a question. A Chan aphorism says, "The practice is important but the view of practice is even more important." It seems to me this is a contradiction of Chan because any view I hold must be subjective and a distortion of truth and therefore an obstruction. If the ego goes away in the experience of…

I felt very much at home sitting around the fire on the first evening, happy I'd come and ready for the retreat. I'd taken a bit more care than usual to prepare myself with additional meditation and tried not to arrive too tired. My wife and I have had a lot of sadness in the last few years, which has beaten us down, and the retreat was a chance to emerge from this. I also wanted to explore the…